too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
