scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
