Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
