dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
