her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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