I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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