Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
