she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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