Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
