Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
