i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
