i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize