Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
