Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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