Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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