remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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