Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
