why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize