Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
