I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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