I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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