grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
