Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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