i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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