If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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