THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
