I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
