what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
