You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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