Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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