You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
