overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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