I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
