no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
