Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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