i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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