No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
