Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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