I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
