I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
