i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
