Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
