is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
