I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Girls should come with a carfax report
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
