Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
