I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
