Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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