i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You may now shotgun with the bride
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
