This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize