google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
