everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Welp...herpes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
