hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
