what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
