return my video game
hotel room ftw
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
