Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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