Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize