I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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