I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize