Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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