can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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