White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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