I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
