oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
