Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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