Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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