margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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